As a mother without guidance I brought the children up to the best of my ability. My priority has always been to ensure the family eat together, sleep together, play together, cry together, suffer together etc.
Religion and race were never brought into our lives. Everyone has their share of weakness and strength.
Even when my ex husband's family members insulted me regarding the manner I brought up the children, why I do not pray in front of them etc, I never answered back due to my respect for them as my eldest.
When my ex husband insisted that Hari Raya is to be spent with his family members and relatives, I never once objected. After the death of my ex husband's mother I did suggest few times it is best we have our own family celebration inviting friends over. My ex husband ignore the suggestion.
When men proposed marriage to my eldest daughter, my ex husband is ever ready to take up the offer without checking the background of each candidate.
My daughter Arniza is easily influence by people who can manja her. This is due to lack of love from her own father. My ex husband is typical Melayu, big ego with no substance. To my ex husband, his duty is only face value as a father and husband. He does not care whether they study or not, whether there is food on the table, whether bills are paid, when asked to help around the house or do minor repairs everything can wait and wait. Even when the children and I are sick, never once was there any concern shown by my ex husband.
In my home I have the duty of being a Father, Provider, Nagger and Mother.
This is why my daughter Arniza can mock and show disrespect for me after my divorce.
In Australia, when Arniza was doing her Master she was contacted by our Jakim whereby they slowly brain washed her about Islam. Then when she went for BTN, that spell the end of an open minded woman.
To Arniza, her mother no longer play a role in her life. Everything that the family used to do is now sinful and haram.
I have right from the beginning wanted certain conditions to be met before her marriage. As a Muslim and a mother I felt she had to have an Insurance to fall back for the future as a woman does not have rights after marriage in Islam.
Like any mother I love to have an extended family living in the same house.
During my time as a Mother I have tried to show the importance of being a family first and everything else second.
One batang wants to destroy the family. The middle believe she must obey the two batangs. The second batang wants what he cannot have.
TODAY THE DAUGHTER I GAVE BIRTH TO AND BROUGHT UP NO LONGER EXIST IN MY LIFE.
TO THIS, I END MY DUTY AS A MOTHER TO DR ARNIZA KHAIRANI.
I WILL NOT COME FOR YOUR FUNERAL, NEITHER SHOULD YOU COME TO MINE. LET US HAVE A CLEAN CUT.
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